In the Maasai community, marriage is considered very important. When two people are brought together to become a husband and wife, the newlyweds are expected to live with each other forever; divorce is not an option unless the bride price was not fully paid. However, with the Maasai engaging in intermarriages, with other communities, divorce is slowly being introduced, but only to couples who are not both Maasai.
The marriage ceremony is one of the longest ceremonies in the Maasai community. It begins by a man showing interest in a woman and giving her a chain, which is called an olpisiai. The word of this goes around and the family as well as the community waits for him to make his intention known. He does this by finding women his own age who will bring a gift of alcohol to the mother of the girl. This first stage is called Esirit Enkoshoke, and it indicates that the girl is now engaged. After some time, the man plans to make his intentions clearer. He does this by presenting a gift of alcohol to the girl's father, which will be brought by the same women who brought the other gift of alcohol to the women earlier. This alcohol is called Enkiroret. The father of the intended bride drinks the alcohol with his brothers and friends and then summons the young man and asks him to declare his interest and point out the woman he wishes to marry. (This can often be a very interesting process because elders will pretend they do not know the girl who is being sought after.) Once the family agrees to the man's request, both parties officially establish a relationship, which will eventually lead to the wedding.
The man is now allowed to bring gifts to the woman's family. He starts by giving them presents as he sees fit, to a point where it will become clear that he has taken an interest in the well being of the girl's family. These gifts will create the bride's dowry, the purpose of which is not to create wealth for the bride's family, but rather to legalize the marriage. In this way, the man puts his mark on that family, and if anyone else tries to approach the family and offer a bride price, it is made clear that the girl has already been given away to another family.
The wedding day begins with the groom bringing the bride price, which includes three cows, of which two are female and one is male and all are black, and two sheep, one female and the other male. The male sheep is slaughtered during the wedding day to remove its fat and oil, which will be applied to the wedding dress. The remaining oil is put in a container for the bride to carry to her new home, in her husband's kraal.
The female sheep is given to the mother-in-law-to-be by the intended husband. From that day forth they will refer to each other as "Paker," meaning the one who gave me sheep. There is also a calf which is given by the man to the father-in-law-to-be. And from then on they will call each other Pakiteng or Entawuo. All the gifts will be kept in the calf house, which is known as the Olale.
That morning, the bride's head is shaved and anointed with lamb fat. She is decorated by lmasaa, beautiful beaded decorations, and puts on her wedding dress. The dress is made by her relatives, not just her mother. In this way the wedding dress is an expression of community, not just individuality. The bride is blessed by the elders using alcohol and milk, and she is led from her family's kraal to her new home, in the kraal of her husband. There, she enters the house of her husband's mother, where she will stay for the next two days, during which time the groom may not sleep with her or eat food in the house she is staying in. Finally, after those two days, the wife's head is shaved by her husband's mother, and the ceremony is over. The man and woman are married elders.
" Elderhood marks a period of responsibility for men and women, beginning with marriage, the building of a family, and the acquisition of wealth and security in the form of children and cattle. But numerous social occasions, ceremonies, and rituals also fill their lives. The able and gregarious woman is particularly singled out for praise, just as the wise and judicious man earns the respect of his peers. At group ceremonies, women and men arrive separately, usually in a stately and joyous procession, and great each other with elaborate and formal courtesies. Admired and treated with reference by all younger persons, the Maasai elder looks forward to an old age not of isolation and fear but of continuing involvement in the life of the people."
-Tepilit Ole Saitoti
